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© 2019 by Alison Collis, TransCultural Coaching

Nottingham UK, London & Online

Contact Alison Collis:

Couples Counselling

I help couples communicate more effectively with each other to resolve problems. Using well established models that provide insight to common communication styles and behaviours. The reaction of couples varies from "wow, I never realised !" to "I wish I'd learnt about these earlier". The reality for most people is it makes a difference to all your relationships, not just the most significant today.

Clear, blame free communication is vital to any relationship. Often a country move will have involved one person compromising in order for the other to realise their goal - this can be the start of dissatisfaction and 'blame-based' problems. Living in another culture just adds additional stress to any relationship.

Common issues couples bring to counselling are:-

  • Problems due to different expectations of the move.

  • A shift in the power dynamic, now that one is the breadwinner and the other stays at home.

  • Arguing, fighting, stonewalling, sulking and other unreasonable behaviours.

  • Trust issues and/or infidelity.

  • Considering separation and/or divorce.

Clear communication becomes even more important when the two people in the relationship are from different cultural backgrounds.

Couples tend to choose counselling to help resolve relationship issues, and to learn communication and conflict resolution techniques. Both matter, irrespective of whether the relationship is to evolve or end.

Approach

I use the Gottman Method Couples Therapy because it is based on extensive research analysing thousands of relationships. It provides practical, easy-to-understand interventions, so that you can change your relationship habits and get your communication and connection back on track. It can also help you understand if your relationship is likely to succeed or fail, and what you can do in either situation.

 

I will listen carefully to what you want to achieve and use my knowledge, experience and compassion to design a clear road map specifically for you. I work with all types of couples at all stages of their relationship, creating a safe, trusting environment that nurtures both parties and encourages positive change.

How is it structured?

 

  1. Free explore call

  2. Detailed assessment

  3. Counselling, with review points

  4. Ending and relapse prevention

  5. Final review and evaluation

The Gottman Method - background

Dr. John Gottman, has developed his approach based on 40 years of research with thousands of couples.

 

Through his research, he discovered that couples must learn how to actively build fondness, admiration and friendship into their partnership. These qualities need to be established before they can successfully resolve conflicts and share their dreams and aspirations together.  In a straightforward, understandable way, The Gottman Method teaches couples to maintain these positive behaviours. At the same time as showing how to avoid the pitfalls of criticism, stonewalling, contempt and defensiveness, which can poison struggling marriages and lead to divorce.

 

Gottman found that there were a number of effective relationship habits that happy, long-term couples were using :-




 

Positivity and friendship - Successful couples were expressing their appreciation of each other, “checking-in” regularly, and scheduling “stress-reducing” conversations in order to remain content.

 

Love maps - Happy couples were curious about each other and were actively interested in their partner and adding to their knowledge of each other’s inner and outer worlds.







Repair - Healthy couples know how to recover their positivity after a conflict.

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